An Aside For Randomness – Apr. 13, 2010

Have you ever put so much information in the ol' noodle that it feels like it's starting to leak out? Or, worse yet, it feels like everything's building up toward critical mass and you're hoping that the worst that comes of it is insanity. Well, I'm getting there—quickly.

You see, I have a habit of sometimes taking on more than I can really handle when it comes to reading and invariably I end up on the short end of burnout. (Does anyone else smell smoke?) I love to read and I can't get enough usually but what sometimes happens is that I'll be reading a book and another book catches my attention. I'll pull it off the shelf and begin to "browse" through it. I'll get interested and begin to read it. Then things start getting bad.

I'll also be reading a book or web sites at work (Yes, work related) when things are slower.

I get home and find that it's time for my quiet time so I begin to read God's word. And so on and so forth it goes. I have been known to be juggling five books at one time! Sometimes I even mix them up in my head as to what's happening in each book. Maddening!

Soon there comes a point when there's just too much going on in my noodle which, by that time has actually become a wet noodle, and I lose my way, in a manner of speaking. It feels like I can't possibly fit one more item in my head. I start to become imbalanced and, a sure sign of trouble ahead, I begin to have trouble making decisions. You know there's a problem when deciding what to have for breakfast causes a minor panic attack. Time to back off.

How does one clear out the...excess...OK! Bloated extras in one's mind? One thing that has worked for me in the past has been to take a night or two and watch television. You may be thinking, "TV?? That is a mind killer!" YOU GOT IT! Sometimes just letting the TV go helps me clean out my mind. You have to be very careful though, because it can sneak up on you and pretty soon you've killed more than you thought and then you have to fight to be free of the new TV addiction you've found yourself in but, taken in bite-sized chunks, TV can help bleed off some of the excess overages in your brain.

One other thing I've found that can help and can be somewhat therapeutic, is writing. I have come to a point where TV just does not call to me as it once did, its siren song drawing me to the murky depths of oblivion all the while images stimulate my brain to mush. So writing is a wonderful alternative.

But what to write?

It is true that there are times when your mind is so much slurry that you can't even form a coherent thought let alone...write. That is the beauty of writing. Just because you write it does not mean someone else has to read it.

During these times of mental constriction, take the writing medium of choice and simply start to put words on to the paper. They do not have to be correctly spelled, punctuation is optional, and during this time the words do not have to make sense-Just write whatever pops into your mind next. Here's a sample:

Horses love green grasshoppers women from yonder cats calling and birds hammering Grant to grace and falling short behind a barn on a forested hill top looking over orange tigers on a cool night in July with no place like home to kill a mower in the process of digging up ants in the backyard.

Fun, isn't it? This is also a wonderful technique for blowing out writer's block. It helps your mind gain some creative momentum, but beware! It will drive your inner editor absolutely COOWAZY! (That is a really fun thing to do!)

So two options to drain excess brain goo: 1) A little bit of TV; 2) Writing. I do enjoy a good movie now and then but I get much more joy from putting words to paper. And the risk of permanent brain damage is little to none when you write.

 

So long All!

A Time to Kill – Pt. 2

There are some parts of part two I'm not thrilled with but my mind is a bit distracted so I'm posting now.

 

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"Miss me," he mewed in his sick, sweet voice. I stared at him for what seemed like hours, cursing my luck. Why couldn't he have been hit by a bus, or mistaken for an assassin's victim. But no, he sat there with his tailored blue, pin striped suit and slicked back hair. He picked at a stray hair while he sat there and gave himself a further inspection.

Looking up again, "You don't look like you're very happy to see me," he said sending chills through to the core of my muse.

"I suppose you think you did a wonderful job of "writing," the word stank of disdain as it rolled off of his sophisticated tongue, "but I've seen it and it's all rot. ROT, do you hear me," I could see flames flare in his dark eyes, "But you're stuck at the pier at Raven's Point and you don't know how to get Lon and Breia to Bane." Another hair, "All the ideas you've come up with so far are stupid, stupid, STUPID!" In that moment my writing drive suffered a severe blow, not quite fatal but wounding deeply; the vital liquids of creativity oozing from the gash in my psyche. However, my loathing began to simmer.

Lowering my eyes in shame, I said, "I know," feeling as guilty as the condemned man that I Really was...Condemned never to get a complete story written and...Oh heck, I thought, He's right! I'm not cut out for this form of art! I ran a hand through my hair, I'm lying myself, I have no creativity, I'm a loser with a wild fantasy. Ed smiled, sitting up a little straighter, sensing victory.

From that moment on my Ed has had me cowed. It seems to be ok that I think about writing or even if I read about writing but if I so much as try to put ink to paper or fingers to keyboard, he's there beside me giving me a knowing look, or wagging a forefinger under my nose, and a disapproving "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

"You can't hold me forever, you know," I said, stammering, a meek attempt to gain control and show this intruder who is boss. He smiled and melted from my sight.

I sighed. The one thing that brought a measure of passion to my life is now in shambles, relegated to the flames of perceived incompetence, increased complacency, and more self-doubt, all supplied in abundance by Ed; not so much an editor, but more like an torturer...

I've reached the end of my rope! I'm ready to unleash the fullness of my passion and soar on the wings of the written word and not allow this miserly fiend to keep me grounded with the other turkeys who refuse to take flight! I am taking action now! I...I..I'm going, to hire an assassin! That's it! I'll hire someone to take this scum out once and for all. I will show no mercy as he has shown me no mercy! But how? Where does one find an "inner editor assassin"? My face fell at this thought. My idea dead before it even gets off the ground. I thought some more, desperate to wring more ideas from my embattled mind.

There are your average, ordinary assassins, of course. The ones who kill a president here or a king there or maybe some famous actor, but I need a special assassin. There are character assassins but this inner editor if mine is not a character...wait! Wait one minute! If I write him into a story, say, this story, he then becomes a character! And as a character he is vulnerable to character assassination! YES! That is the answer. What a revelation! Rubbing my hands together, I head for my office sanctuary.

After careful investigation, I have concluded that the best assassin I could find is actually a team of assassins. I'm not willing to take any chances.

Psst...I need to tell you who they are in case something happens to me before I can execute (no pun intended here, but it is funny!) my plans.

The assassin duet I hired consists of two dedicated individuals and come highly recommended. Their names? The first goes by "M". He says it's best this way. The less I know the less cleanup needs to be done when this thing's all over. His smile is like daggers. Shivers run down my spine, seeking a place to hide.

The second man is "Mr. D".

(Wait! I need to stop. Ed's lurking about and I don't want him to see us talking. See you tomorrow!)

A Time to Kill – Pt. 1

Here's part one of a fun little story I've been writing to help me try and overcome this writer's block I've been having. I hope you like it though it is not a polished piece...just for fun...

 

 

There comes a time in a man's life when enough is enough! When the poison of despair sets in and festers in his heart until it becomes like a boil on one's soul. The only answer is extreme, extreme to Death. It's not vengeance but the hatred is just as powerful and the desire just as strong. That time has come in my life now.

Five years ago I started on a quest of creation. Through some candid conversation friends who saw something in me that I didn't: A spark. If this spark could be set to the right material, a flame would grow and maybe spread into an inferno.

The story goes something like this: I had explained that I had been blessed with fantastic dreams and a love of stories. They told me I should write. Put the visions in my head onto paper.

As I mused on this idea, a chill of excitement rippled across my soul. This could be fun.

So, soon after I started the quest of the golden pen. I began researching what it took to write a book. No one said it would be easy and all said it was brutally difficult. I scoffed a bit at this because I was sure I had something that the likes of Grisham, Sanderson, and Jordan didn't have that would make me an international best-seller with much less effort than these other, inferior authors. I just knew it would be much easier for me. I'm sure that knowing smiles flitted across the faces of the great ones as these arrogant thoughts danced in my head.

It was about this time that I began to notice an obscure reference that I had long ignored, ignored almost too long, and it has been the bane of my writing existence ever since, the source of my growing hatred. A few of my on-line "teachers" talked in cryptic hints about a strange, almost mystic individual they referred as the "inner editor", a vile and stifling entity bent on disrupting creativity.

They warned that this creature was necessary but never during the initial writing phase. His mere presence, looking over your shoulder, critiquing every word, every point of punctuation, was enough to drive any sane person saner, disrupting the creative process sometimes to all out writer's block. When it seems like words begin to flow this..."inner editor" (I am calling him Ed, though it's a much better name than he deserves!)...steps in to tell you how proud he is of the garbage you are scribbling, a sour look twists his pinched face; contempt for my prose oozing from every pore of his disgusting body.

At first I was grateful for his "help" but the more I tried to write the more this villain spoke: "That is garbage! No one will accept that work!" "What Crap! There are first graders who could do better than what you've written!" "I know Grisham, and you sir," pointing an accusing finger at my prose, "Are NOT Grisham!" Exasperated, I close down my computer and walk away, head throbbing and frustration bubbling within.

Then one day it happened. I had just finished reading two wonderful books on the craft of writing and I started writing—

I wrote a few words and paused, squeezing my eyes shut in anticipation, waiting for the inevitable harangue declaring my ineptitude...but nothing happened. With care, I opened one eye just a crack. Nothing. He wasn't there, but still skeptical, I waited longer. Still nothing. So both eyes I began to write again, stopping on occasion just to be sure he was not around, but he truly seemed to be gone. Where he was I didn't know and I didn't care. I hoped he was pestering and belittling some other author or would-be author, just as long as he wasn't bothering me. (I know this is a mean spirited sentiment and I do feel for the author who has to battle his or her own Ed, but with the amount of frustration filling my mind, it's easy to understand.)

When I finally realized that he was not going to harass me, my fingers began to fly over the keyboard. Three weeks later and I had over forty thousand words written! I was amazed! I knew there would have to be some rewriting but still...FORTY THOUSAND words! And no brain-bashing by my nemesis! Hurray!

Birds were singing sweetly in the trees outside my open window. It was hard to be irritated with them hearing the beautiful praises for the morning. My alarm clock sounded. Though I didn't want to get up, the clock's persistence finally persuaded me that I needed to open my eyes and get moving. Though I was tired I couldn't help but smile as I thought about the fact that not only was it a beautiful day but that sneak, Ed, was gone!

I opened my eyes and the smile faded from my face, sliding downward toward a frown. There at the end of my bed, with a nasty little smirk on his face, sat Ed.

Brilliant Finishes...April 3, 2010

One of the times I feel most at peace is when I'm on a mountain by myself. It does not happen nearly often enough for my liking but there is something about being on an outcropping as the sun rises, streams of light spilling into the valley before me, breakers of light washing over the mountain's sides. During these times praise and worship for God pour from my heart like a mountain spring dances in joy as it runs the course laid before it.

Jesus was in the habit of spending time with His Father daily. Often He would go to the Mount of Olives. I wonder if He saw the same beauty and felt that same peace that I have so often felt as He looked at what lay before Him.

Jesus came for a mission; he had a goal and a purpose. Though His capacity to enjoy the wonders of this world, as its Architect, may have been greater than ours, He was not here for vacation and His one source of strength came from His time with the Father. Even on the busiest of days with important tasks to accomplish, Jesus always took time to dip His heart in the healing waters of time with the Father. There were no excuses and it was not onerous to Him but a time of joy and peace.

One of the last recoded prayers of Jesus came shortly before His death. Having fulfilled the tasks He had to do, He took His disciples to the Mount of Olives, usually a place of refuge and spiritual renewal for Jesus, but this night would be different. Instead of the peace and joy He normally received, drops of agony dripped from His head as He wrestled with the suffering that awaited Him for our sake. Not just the physical pain, that in itself was enough to wither a hero of old, but the separation from His Father He was to endure, something which had not happened to Him before. Jesus was going to be put to death in the body but He was also going to take upon Himself the sin of the world; the sin from those who came before, those who are now, and from those who would come after, fell on His shoulders.

Did He find peace during this time of prayer? He knew what was ahead and He asked that the cup be removed from Him, but...but He subordinated His will to the Father's in spite of what loomed ahead—suffering beyond anything known previously or since.

"It is finished." There are thousands upon thousands and myriads upon myriads of famous quotes that have inspired nations and moved men to accomplish great deeds but there are no words that have changed the course of history like these: "It is finished." These words usher in true freedom; freedom from the bondage of sin; freedom from the clutching, grasping, sucking maw of Hell that held each one of us in its lustful grip. "It is finished." The purpose of Christ is complete but this is not the end of the story, only the beginning.

Jesus may not have found peace on His last visit to the Mount of Olives and He wasn't there for the view, but He did find what He needed: Strength in a time of weakness and courage in a time of dread. He found the ability to undertake the purpose He specifically came for.

It is finished but the story continues...

 

Remembory -- Jan. 23, 2010

I remember this place...I've been here before. It's been a long time ago, but I believe I've been here at some point in my past. I recognize o few of the sights and some of sounds seem familiar to me. What is new and different is this year, 2010. You may have heard some silly comments on how to pronounce 2010: 1) Is to say "Two thousand-Ten; or 2) Say, "Twenty-Ten." I've discovered that it changes nothing no matter how you decide to pronounce it but saying, "Twenty-Ten" seems to be the way I've adopted. Regardless of how you say it, I hope God brings blessing to you in 2010. (Hey! No one has mentioned saying, "Two-Zero-One-Zero." That's odd...) The goals I set for myself last year went the way of the bad neckties in, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" the movie, to the dumpster. I've not given up on setting goals for myself but I think I will be a little less boisterous in talking about them because it causes no end to my embarrassment when I fail. I'd much rather work quietly in the background and then show the results later. Check out Helium.com. I just wrote my first article in a long time and the first for this year. I wrote it on the topic of "If God is Love Why is There Pain and Suffering?" I hope you will find it interesting. As always, I'd love any feedback. Well, so long for now!

A Wii Update – July 14, 2009

No, Wii is not a new toy in our home, just a play on words and  though Logan probably wouldn’t complain too much if it were a new toy for him.  No, this is just a quick writing update.

So far I have not met the goal I had for 2000 words a day starting July 1 but I have filled a few holes in the plot line and hopefully make things a little more three dimensional so I have not been idle.

I have been praying for God’s guidance and I think I’m learning some things from this “test” novel. It is not easy and with my short attention span it makes focusing on a thread of plot or sub-plot is not too good. This is maddening because on rare occasions I am able to focus, I have an awesome time! I wish I could do this more often.

Right now I’m toying with having Lon and Breia having to get a ride on a Trogan Slaver ship. This helped me add some tension on their trek from Majica and Raven’s Point on their way to the Isle of Bane. It has been a hoot and I love using my imagination! You can create anything with your imagination. What a gift from God!

At this point in time I have forty pages written. This is, of course, the rough draft and rough it is! I have had to immobilize my internal editor but he still strains to see over the fence and even lofts his criticisms from way back there! I did let him out for a few hours a week or so ago because I had to do some clean up because of a new revelation and had to remove the “old way” I had started. At some point you have to stop making changes but for now my novel is a hot bed of experimentation! (Is that cliché or what?)

That’s it! (I KNOW! Such a short post!)

 

Bye for now!

Various Updates – July 5, 2009

I know this is a bit out of character for me to post this close to my last post but now that I have actually been writing I feel I have some things to talk about.

I continue to bring my writing before the Lord and He keeps confirming that I should be doing this by the peace I have in my heart and the desire He has set in that place.  He has not; however, told me that I would ever be a best selling author or a selling author of any type but once I hit the “zone” I have a hard time stopping and I think about the story more and more often.  I have to say it is FUN! It taxes my brain and I have despaired once or twice but God has helped me over those hurdles. In one instant he has provided a good friend who enjoys the same genre of books I do so I have been able to explain what I want to do and he and I have talked through the issues. Twice now God has used him to help me past some sticky points. And then He uses the very imagination He has blessed me with. Sometimes to get past one of those pesky obstacles I have simply sat back and stared thinking through the possibilities and an idea forms. It has been great fun! Wouldn’t it be great to do this full time? At this point I have no religion in my story and I feel it is missing something so I would not be surprised if some type of religion pops up and gets woven into the story web, but I can’t say for sure!

The 2000 word\day mark I set for myself has not yet born the fruit I had hoped it would but I have run into more storyline problems than I had thought I had. This time has not been all wasted though! I have been able to work through some of the problems I had and I actually let my internal editor out for a little play time and he helped me to clean up some problem areas I had and redirect the plotline in the new direction. He had fun and he was so cute to watch! (I wish I had taken some pictures!) Anyway when I finally put him away I had most of my rough draft problems cleared up along with some of the confusion that was starting to creep in. It was looking like a big mess but it is all better now and I should be able to write at a faster rate, at least for a while.

I have completed thirty-six pages of rough draft as of this writing and I am not done yet tonight. Kim and I took a nice walk and I wanted to get another posting out but I would love to make the forty-page mark before I go to bed, I just don’t know if it’ll happen or not. On the plus side I am not overly tired right now. In fact, lately my mental faculties have been much better than they have in a long time. I am not smarter just seem to be able to use what I do have in a more effective manor. I praise God for this because I hate the fog I walked around in for the last 30 years! I am convinced it has to do with the fact that I have stopped drinking pop. I have no way to prove my theory but only to say that my mind’s functioning has improved since I have stopped drinking pop. (now if I could only cut back on the rest of the crap I intake!)

Alyssa leaves tomorrow for a week at Chicago to get some evangelism training. It should be a very good experience for her and I hope the Lord will use it in her life. Please pray for her in those lines and for safety for their traveling.

Logan has one more week of baseball with the 8th grade team. There have been a lot of rainouts this year, it does not seem like we’ve had a full season but it has been enjoyable.

The Holy Spirit has been having me focus on the lives of Joseph and Daniel in my Bible study times. There are a lot of parallels and some cool lessons.  I will pass on more to you as I learn.

Well, I’m getting back to my other writing!

Keep your dreams alive and work hard. Lay your plans in God’s hands and He will help you!

Bye!