2x4 Indentation--Oct. 20, 2008

It used to be that people would quit their jobs, sell all they have and travel to some remote part of the world (it helps to have a high mountain readily available too) to find themselves. I have never met anyone who has gone on one of these quests and actually found themselves. This does not mean that someone out there has not accomplished this largish feat it just means I have never met any of those people. Considering all the people that live in this world my web of relationships is quite small; infinitesimal even, so it is no surprise that I haven't ever met anyone coming back having found themselves. In fact, most of the people I know I think are pretty secure in who they are and have no need to go find themselves. On the other hand, most of those people probably think I should maybe at least take a hike around the block to see if I might at least get a glimpse of who I am. (If I walk one direction there is a bit of hill I must walk up. Not quite a mountain but it least it has an incline to it!)

There comes a time when you do so many stupid things that you hit rock bottom. Before you get too comfortable there, however, more stupid things crash in on you and though you've hit the solid floor of stupidity the the rest of the stupid things you've done then fall on you to crush you. (You know! The old 'Rock and Hard Place!' This is the place!)

I have been doing a lot of reading trying to understand how to think better, how to treat people better and how to be a more effective leader. In fact, these areas have become something of a passion for me. I am reading all sorts of wonderful books and articles and even am trying to apply them in my work environment. There does seem to be some merit in these things. But..(there's always a BIG but...) these things don't take into consideration that the idiot (or in technical computer talk, The ID-10-T error) should be allowed to play with these toys. In case you are wondering I can assure you that one's increase in knowledge, and even one's attempt to practice that knowledge, does not decrease the size of foot that can fit into one's mouth.

I was at small group last night and the ice breaker was a favorite soup or soup story. I am not a big soup lover so, being several people away from having to answer, I had plenty of time to come up with a really big mouth sized shoe fitting.

First, it is import for you to understand that one of the easiest dishes to bring to a get together like this is soup. We have soup regularly at our small group and it is really fine. I do not mind soup but...

My response was this: "Given any other choice besides soup I would take the other choice in a heart beat." Now that is not too bad in and of itself but as soon as the words left my mouth I tasted dirty rubber from the souls of my sneakers filling the vast cavity known as my mouth. The whole thing just came out wrong and the only right thing was that there was one other who, a few minutes later, agreed with me. (Thank you, Jim!) But it does not leave out the fact that my statement did not come across with tact or anything resembling pre-thought.

So I have requested of our leader a moment at our next meeting to apologize for my comments. (That is if I can get my foot out of my mouth by then!)

This all led me to take a hard look at all aspects of my life and when you do a stupid thing all the other stupid things you've done, are doing or will do come into sharp focus and give the appearance of being what your entire life is built on. You would think that after reading all the books on building people up, watching all the respectable people doing such a wonderful job of building people up even by just saying, "Hello" to someone, that you would learn, but it does not always happen. Sometimes you simply get a hearty helping of leather instead, with the added bonus of hurting someone's feelings.  Nothing like wounded hearts to go along with some tasty Wal-Mart brand pseudo-leather.  UMM! UMM!

My only comfort today is that God is graceful and can change even me (although I have to be one of the toughest cases He's ever faced!) and a plan to apologize in person.

What I have discovered in trying to find myself is that the tongue is not so easy to tame and that reading a few books can't substitute for a genuine and gracious heart. A word spoken to build someone up is better than trying to get a laugh and hurting someone's feelings.

If you plan on trying to be clever or could potentially contract this foot-in-mouth dieses, wear flip-flops!

Bye for now!